FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
