i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
