I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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