Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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