I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
