ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
