Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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