Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You pole danced in your parka.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
