"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
