this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
