question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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