Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
