How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
my vag is so smooth its legendary
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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