your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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