Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
