Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Randomize
