apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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