i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
