We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
