If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
