she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
