okay pat passed out under dana's car
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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