So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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