seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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