I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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