you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Your dad touched me again.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
