where does the pee come out of this thing
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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