So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
