there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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