he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
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