Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
