your thong is hanging out like whoa
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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