Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
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