this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
