toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
