I cockslap morals
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
