No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
