wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
