And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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