My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
