I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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