I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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