Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
