CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
