Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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