Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
