that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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