listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
