yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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