I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
